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 Episode 1 - The Phenom Menace

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Cyber Punk
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Male
Number of posts : 91
Age : 27
Registration date : 2007-05-30

Wrestler Info
Record: (CW Record - 56/24/5) (JWF Record - 13/0/0) (AWA Record - 37/18/1)
Alignment: Heel
PostSubject: Episode 1 - The Phenom Menace   June 11th 2008, 12:34 am


Camera fades in on the Cyber Punk TV set, it is dim lit, and resembles a funeral.

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Cyber Punk
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Cyber Punk TV has had some great laughs over the years but tonight it is a serious occasion! Tonight is a funeral, a funeral for all the JWF wrestlers no longer with us! Letís start this show off with a man who came into the JWF undefeated, Nobody beats him, here lays Beast.

A picture of Beast is shown on screen

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Cyber Punk
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Beast made a name fro himself in the JWF by raping women, and making love to a watermelon with Crimson Skulls face on it! Do we have a clip? Oh we do? Play the clip.

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(They make their way into Beastís room)

Steven: Dude this is the gayest room I have ever seen. And I watch room raiders.

808: Lets look in the draweers!

Steven: All there are is vibraters and gay porn.

Mana: My god, thats just gross.

Steven: I know, hey why are there holes where the mouth is suposed to be?

808: Yah and why are the holes so small.

(Steven Kicks the Bed)
(A Water melon with Crimson Skulls face on it comes out)

Steven: My god, There is a hole by the mouth and the ass.

808: I guess theyíre too good of friends.

(Steven turns around)

Steven: 808! LOOK THERE IS A 10 FOOT GOLDEN COCK OVER THERE! HAHA

808: My god, that is hilarious.
Mana: Hey Whats going on?

Steven: Where the hell have you been?

Mana: I was just stealing Beasts Jewlery, Money, and His Photo album.

808: THATS A 10 FOOT GOLDEN COCK! HAHA Itís unbelievable.

Steven: Lets see that photo album.

(Steven starts fliping through it)

Steven: Wow, Beast and Crimson Skull are kinda get ing close in this pictures!

Mana: EEEEEEEEE Gross.

Steven: i Know, He probably hasnít smellt a woman in years.
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Cyber Punk
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Well, that was, interesting. Beast is best known for his feud with Hot Stuff Steven, in which Hot Stuff defeated Beast ending his undefeated record. Beast was so upset, sources tell me he quit the company immediately. Almost three months later he died from an allergic reaction to watermelon! When we return from commercial, Crimson Skull.

Commercial

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Cyber Punk
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Welcome back to CP-TV, Iím your host and up next we go to Crimson Skull.

They approach a coffin that has been chained up

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Cyber Punk
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I never understood these supernatural characters so I figured I would play the safe side of things. Crimson Skull bitched and complained his way to the top of pro wrestling with a great mixture of ass kissing and dick sucking to sway votes in his favor. Crimson Skull won his first championship thanks to his friend Randal Turner but lost it one week later. Crimson Skull would go on to bore the living hell out of everyone with his horrible gimmick, a gimmick that would also produce lame wrestlers such as Barelai VoníVicious, Hallow Wicked, Kaos, and who the hell cares else. I personally hate the supernatural gimmick, and was so glad to beat the shit out of Crimson Skull and Kaos late in Ď07. Crimson Skull feuded with Joe Santiago almost from day 1 of the JWF but they never fought until a dream match in JWF Version 3, Crimson Skull had been embarrassed and destroyed by Joe Santiago for an entire year and would finally get his chance to right all the wrongs done to him, unfortunately he overlooked the fact that he was going against Joe Santiago and not a jobber and was beaten, cleanly, in there match. Proving the fact to me, that not only is the supernatural, underworld, dark gimmick stupid, but it is also ineffective! The crimson Skull fans would never cheer him again after his loss to the Anti-Christ of wrestling Joe Santiago, and eventually Crimson Skull would lay to rest in this coffin where him trapped, preventing a return to wrestling! Youíre welcome! When we return I pay my last respects to Kaos.

Commerical

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Cyber Punk
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Up next, like I promised, is Kaos. Now Kaos is one wrestler I have a huge problem with. I was riding high as Champion when suddenly the JWF decided they were going to do what ever it took to sign back Kaos! It was going to be the greatest return in history as the JWF put there entire marketing campaign behind Kaos beating Cyber Punk and taking the belt for the first time in his career, unfortunately, what the JWF forgot is that Iím Cyber Punk! Kaos was at his best and ready for action, but he lost, horribly, to the better man, Cyber Punk! The fact that the JWF had pushed so hard for me to lost, kind of spoiled the taste, of the JWF, in my mouth. Suddenly I wasnít happy about the JWF, because I realized these JWF version 1 guys would always be treated better then guys like me. I hate JWF Version 1 because I was not part of it, I would have changed the JWF forever! Version 2 was better, yet we do not receive the praise we deserve. How dare anyone compare me to Johnny Stylez! I die a little bit inside when ever he says ďNever looked soooo goodĒ The JWF dies a little bit inside when he uses that retarded catch phrase! We need to cut to commercial because Iím getting pissed off! Iíll conclude Kaos by saying, all the razorblades in the world canít beat Cyber Punk!

Commerical

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Cyber Punk
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We are back, and I still havenít calmed down, the worst insult I have ever received in my life, was when I was called a young Johnny Stylez! Iím nothing like Johnny Stylez! When I talk my words have meaning, they have a fucking point! When he talks, not only does he sound like Sylvester Stallone eating marbles, he says the same old shit! His words are like John Cena matches, all the same! I fucking hate you Johnny Stylez, Because me, the most original character in history is compared to you! Youíre words are as lame and limo as your shriveled up tiny dick, you make me sick you son of a bitch! So here lays Johnny Stylez, his tombstones reads, ďIf you say the same thing over and over, maybe no one will noticeĒ and at the bottom it says ďI never looked so good!Ē

At the sight of the most overused, overrated, and worst catchphrase in history Cyber Punk goes insane. He begins throwing objects left and right before pulling out a can of gasoline. Cyber Punk begins dousing the stage and set with gas, over the coffins and tombstones, before taking deep breathes and calming down.

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Cyber Punk
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Iím really sorry about that, I lost my cool for a second. Johnny Stylez, itís time to retire! I give a lot of credit to Joe Santiago for hanging up his boots and letting the New Breed take over the JWF, but you Stylez, and Iíll retract one of my statements, you arenít a has-been, youíre just a never was!

Cyber Punk puts a cigarette into his mouth. He then pulls out a match and lights his cigarette, before flicking the match onto the stage. The stage erupts into flames and an explosion that can be heard for miles.

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Cyber Punk
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That concludes Cyber Punk TV, thank you for watching. A special message goes out to all the new JWF talent, Iím impressed with what Iíve seen so far, and here is too a great Version 4 of the JWF!

Cyber Punk walks away
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