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 Fuck the past, it's time for the present, lad

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Porter MaCleod
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Number of posts : 121
Registration date : 2006-11-30

PostSubject: Fuck the past, it's time for the present, lad   June 24th 2008, 4:14 am

The camera cues in on
Porter MacLeod at a signing conference for copies of his new DVD, “You’re going
to be a sorry lad!” It is a compilation of
dozens of his greatest matches and titles wins.
It also speaks of his popularity as one of the biggest jokesters in any
federation worldwide. He looks up to see
the camera from JWF.

Porter: ‘Bout fucking
time you lads got here. I was beginning
to think you weren’t going to show up, but then I realize that we’re in a mall
with a donut shop. So get your glazed
asses over here and listen to the Real Deal speak.

You see, I face a lad whom…I regret having to face. Not because I am fearful, oh Christ no, it’s
because he annoys me. I can remember
when him and the rest of those SpamTards first hit up the JWF. They spammed the fuck out of the JWF site and
boy did they have a tendency to fuck everything up. Although everyone has a chance to change, I’m
doubting that this one has.

You see, Latin…I’m not going to call you by your full name,
for sake of copyright infringement on the first two acronyms in that name…I’m
probably speaking over your head, ain’t I boyo?
These big five dollar words aren’t too familiar with you, are they,
lad?

Ah, fuck it. Anyways…I
see you’ve prided yourself on those nice looking records you’ve got from other
federations. Let me be frank with you
lad…No one fucking cares about anywhere else you’ve been.

All you had to talk about last week was you being the longest
reigning, bleh ne bleh ne fucking bleh.
I don’t give a shit, and the rest of the world certainly doesn’t. I mean, really, lad. Let’s get real…a 21 time champion? It hasn’t even been two years since you were
a part of this fed. And to hold a title
21 times in two years…you must have lost it almost every week and gained it
back on the next. That’s when it gets
ridiculous to hold a title. You see, if
it had been a 21 title record over 15 years, and there had been some lengthy
title reigns…that would be impressive.
But as for your 2 years and 21 title wins…something just doesn’t
fit.

And looking at which second rate feds you were in when you
won them…I can’t help but be disappointed in it. You went to feds that were rejects from the rest
of the world…You went to feds with other lads who just couldn’t cut it in the
bigger federations. That’s why you’ve
got 21 titles reigns or whatever else you’ve got. Lads like me and Johnny Stylez…we’ve been
going all over the fucking world fighting in venues and fighting in several
different circuits with federations stationed in almost every continent.

I’ve fought the best this world’s got to offer. And I’ve beat just about every single one of
them. I never beat Joe Santifaggo, but I
was never hired in contract long enough to fight him. And the reason I never stayed hired, is
because I was the one who stood up for myself and did the ballsy things that I
did, while the rest of you lads polished his nuts till they were white. And Joe’s got a pretty good tan if you know
what I mean. So while you all were busy
slobbing up his knob, I was going from circuit to circuit perfecting my
craft.

I may not have been that spectacular here in the JWF before,
but I believe I was held back. Trying to
fight in three different federations at the same time gets rough. So now, I’m down to a one federation
man. And this time, it’s serious. I’ll still be playing my jokes, and I’ll
still be the ass that I’ve always been.
And I’ll still be kicking ass like it’s going out of style.

Latin, you’ve got one of the most fucked up family stories I’ve
ever heard…but that’s besides the point, you can save that story for Make a
Wish Foundation or Unsolved Mysteries.

And I’ve seen your logo floating around, too. “I’d give anything for just 1 JWF
championship” or whatever it says. That
right there tells me that this is the biggest federation you’ve been a part of,
or the first one you ever joined. It
also shows how sad of a little man you are.
Yeah, I’d like to have a JWF Championship too, but I’ve had them
elsewhere…and I can get them elsewhere.
JWF is the first federation I joined in the U.S. but you don’t see me
acting like it’s God’s gift to wrestling.
There’s other federations lad…but I guess you’ve realized that all your
other titles have been won against lads who can’t even put forth more than 20
second promos, and you’ve realized all that you’ve done elsewhere doesn’t
matter here.

I’m a legend around the world, but I don’t go bragging about
it all the damn time. I know how
annoying it is to have people like you running around spouting off all the
places you’ve won such and such where. So,
get your head out of your past, and start worrying about what’s right in front
of you now. Because if you don’t, the
last thing you’re going to see before you wake up in a hospital bed, holding
onto your little teddy bear that your mum brings to ya, is a Pay the
Piper. I’ve give you your Reality Check,
lad. And that’s this is the only place
that matters now. You’re here, and I don’t
care about the rest of them. So shut the
fuck up about it.

You can go on about how you respect me and all that, but I
doubt I’ll ever respect you. Mark this
one down as one of your greatest matches, ‘cause it’s against Mr. Prime Time
himself…..


Porter…

Fucking…

MacLeod…

And I’ll make ya famous…
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